(309): nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. Lol
(570): why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
(1-570): you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
(401): This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
(434): why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
(540): you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
(508): awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
(1-508): you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
More funny text messages on Songs for America–Website
