Archive

Oct 03

Funny Short Jokes

By adminNo Comments

i_has_a_flavor-11938

Q. Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?
A. He's all right now.

Q. Did you hear about the man who was tap dancing?
A. He broke his ankle when he fell into the sink.

Q. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A. A nervous wreck.

Q. What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
A. Anyone can roast beef.

Q. Where do you find a no legged dog?
A. Right where you left him.

Q. Where do you get virgin wool from?
A. Ugly sheep.

Q. Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
A. They're trying to get away from the noise.

Q. What does Star Trek and toilet paper have in common?
A. They both circle Uranus looking for Black Holes.

Q. How do you double the value of a Geo Metro?
A. Fill it with gas.

Q. What's the definition of mixed emotions?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

Q. Why do chicken coops have two doors?
A. Because if it had four doors it's be a chicken sedan.
Feb 03

Short Jokes

By adminNo Comments

smiles2Patient: Doctor! Doctor! Everyone keeps on copying me!
Doctor: Doctor! Doctor! Everyone keeps on copying me!

Did you hear about hte new French tank?
Yeah, It has 14 gears. 13 go in reverse, and one goes foreward incase the enemy attacks from behind.

Where does the one legged waitress work?
The Ihop

What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?
Damn

A blonde walked into a bar
OUCHH!!!

A french fry walks into the bar and says to the bartender “Hay , could I get a beer please”
The barthened looks at him shacking his head and say “No, we don’t serve food here”

A mushroom walks into the bar and says to the bartender “Hay , could I get a beer please”
The barthened looks at him shacking his head and say “No, we don’t serve food here”
The mushroom says “Why not I’m a Fungi!”

Sep 14

Funny Short Blonde Jokes

By adminNo Comments

amberheard

Why can’t blondes make ice cubes?

They always forget the recipe.

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Did you hear about the two blondes that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?

They went to see “Closed for the Winter.”

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Why won’t they hire blondes as pharmacists?

They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters.

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Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?

It took her a month to realize she could play it at night.

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What happened to the blonde ice hockey team?

They drowned at spring training.

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What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?

“Look! They spelled MACY’S wrong.”

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Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?

To see what was on the other side.

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How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?

Tell her a joke on Wednesday.

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Why did the blonde stare at the frozen orange juice?

Because it said “concentrate.”

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What do you call a smart blonde?

A golden retriever.

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A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade. Who is the oldest?

The blonde, because she’s 18.

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How do you keep a blonde busy for hours?

Write “Please turn over” on both sides of a piece of paper.

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How to trouble a blonde:

Put a scratch-and-sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool!!!

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Why did the blonde tell her Pastor under no circumstances would she have more than three children?

Because she heard that 1 out of 4 children born in the world is Chinese.

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Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall?

The power went out for 5 hours leaving twelve blondes stranded on their way to the second floor on the escalator.

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