I’m feeling a little off today. Would you like to turn me on?
Do you have a mirror in your pocket? [No, why?] ‘Cause I can see me in your pants.
May I have some kisses up here, please.
If a star fell from the sky every time I thought about you, then tonight the sky would be empty.
My love for you is like diarrhea. I just can’t hold it in.
Haven’t I seen you before? Maybe in my dreams?
If home is where the heart is, then my home is in you.
You must be a magician, because everytime I look at you, everyone else disappears.
You want me. I can smell it.
If you were a drug, I would overdose!
If you gave me a penny for my thoughts I’d have just one penny, because i only think about one thing and that’s you.
[Note: for use when someone you know is getting married] Hi, I’m throwing the bachelor/bachelorette party for a friend of mine, and I need a stripper. Interested?
Is your dad a baker? [No. Why?] Cause you have some nice buns.
I don’t speak in tongues, but I kiss that way.
If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?
Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger? [No.] Then wink.
You know, we were born without clothes.
Did the sun come up or did you just smile at me?
Like alcohol to the alcoholic,
Like chocolate to the chocoholic,
You are the [name] to the [name]holic.
(preferabally for use on men/women that have an A or O as the last letter of their first name.)
If I bit my lip would you kiss it better?
Will you read my palm? [I don't see anything.] I didn’t expect you to because love is blind.
Did you drop something? [What?] Your conversation, so let’s pick it up right here.
Can I have your picture? [Why?] So I can show santa what I want for christmas!
Damn…..your ass is fine! Want to come see mine?
You dropped something. [What?] My jaw.
That’s a nice dog/cat/pet. Does it have a phone number?
Do you mind if we share this cab to my house?
Baby, you’re sexier than socks on a rooster.
Do you have a band-aid? [Why?] I hurt my knee when I fell for you.
What do you say we play some football? You can have first down!
You’re like pizza. Even when you’re bad, you’re good.
You had better phone the firefighters in advance, cause when you’re done with me, we’ll be on fire!
Lets make like fabric softener and Snuggle!
Do you believe in love at first sight or do I have to walk by again?
