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• 1. Rules of me: . . . #1 I am always right . . . #2 Just in case I am wrong see rule #1.

  They call me superficial, but I just hear “super”.

• Decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire!
• That awkward moment when you post a funny status on Facebook and someone has to ruin it by commenting being all serious!
• I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was “You’ll never find anyone like me again!” I’m thinking, “I should hope not! If I don’t want you, why would I want someone like you!
• Roses are Red, Nuts are brown, Skirts go Up, Pants go Down, Body to Body, Skin to Skin, When it is Stiff, Stick it In, The Longer its In, The stronger it Gets, It goes in Dry, Comes out Wet, It comes out dripping,and it starts to Sag, Its not what you Think …its a Teabag!
• Do not ever laugh in the bathroom it will make people think ur playing with yourself
• Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you. But the roses are wild ,the violets are dead, the sure bowl is empty, and so is your head!
• Two crisps are walking down the road, A car stops and asks them if they want a lift, they say “No Thanks We’re Walkers!
• X says my computer just beat me at chess…but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
• woow break my heart steal my love well sorry to tell you now I am sailing away you lost me. now dont try to find me im gone goodbye see you later.
• Be nice to nerds, Chances are you will be working for them.
• Alcohol does NOT make you fat…it makes you lean…against tables,chairs,walls, floors and ….Ugly people!!!
• I am not convinced Bin Laden is dead! He just accepted my friend request!
• When I die, i`m gonna have a “like” and “dislike” button on my gravestone!
• Fish can drown dumbass. drowning means not being able to breath. Nothing to do with water!
• Boy: So, sex at my place?
  Girl: Yah!
  Boy: OK, but I sleep in a bunk bed with my younger brother and he thinks we’re making sandwiches so this is the code. Cheese= Faster. Tomato= Harder.
  Girl: OK?
  ~Later~
  …Girl: CHEESE CHEESE TOMATO CHEESE!
  Brother: Stop making sandwiches! You’re getting mayo all over my bed!
• Dance!  Dance god damn it! DANCE! DANCE LIKE YOU HAVE NEVER DANCED BEFORE! DANCE LIKE THEIRS NO TOMORROW! DANCE LIKE NOBODY IS PUTTING THIS ON YOUTUBE!

Cheese fail

Cardboard fail

Cow Fail

Tons of funny motivational pics to share on facebook–Gallery