Blondes and driving do not mix!
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In Ohio, if you ignore an orator on Decoration day to such an extent as to publicly play croquet or pitch horseshoes within one mile of the speaker’s stand, you can be fined $25.00.
Women are prohibited from wearing patent leather shoes in public.
It is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday.
It is illegal to get a fish drunk.
The Ohio driver’s education manual states that you must honk the horn whenever you pass another car.
Participating or conducting a duel is prohibited.
Breast feeding is not allowed in public.
It is illegal for more than five women to live in a house.
It is illegal to mistreat anything of great importance.
Owners of tigers must notify authorities within one hour if the tiger escapes.
No one may be arrested on Sunday or on the Fourth of July.
Q: What does Star Trek’s Dr Bones McCoy say before he performs brain surgery on a blonde?
A: Space. The final frontier……….
Q: What did the blond do when she missed the 66 Bus?
A: She took the 33 bus twice instead.
Q: Why do ya reckon Blonds don’t have elevator jobs?
A: Cos they’ve no idea of the route.
Q: How do you make a blonde’s eyes Twinkle?
A: You shine a torchlight in her ear.
Q: Did you hear about the blond Bear?
A: Got stuck in a hunter’s trap, chewed off it’s 2 paws and 1 leg, and was still stuck.
Q: How does a stereotypical blonde spell Farm?
A: E-I-E-I-O.
To amuse a Blonde for hours, give her a sheet of paper with ‘Please turn over’ scribbled on both sides.
If one is a parent to two illegitimate children, that person will go to jail for at least one month.
No one may bribe any athlete to “rig” a game, match, tournament, etc.
It is illegal to teach others what polygamy is.
A man may not seduce a woman by lying, and claiming he will marry her.
One may be fined up to $100 for using “profane language” in public places.
Private citizens may personally arrest any person that disturbs a church service.
Cattle rustling is punishable by hanging.
Horses are not to be housed within 50 feet of any road.
Adultery or Fornication (living togeather while not married or having sex with someone that is not your spouse) results in a fine of $500 and/or 6 months in prison.
Vagrancy is punishable by either 30 days in prison or a $250 fine.
Unnatural intercourse, if both parties voluntarily participate, results in a maximum sentence of 10 years and $10,000.
It is illegal for a male to be sexually aroused in public.
Fishing Buddies
Two blonde fishing buddies rented a boat early one Saturday morning and headed out for a day on the lake. They both caught their limit and headed home to fried fish dinners. The next Saturday they decided to go fishing again.
“Did you mark the spot?” asked Blonde #1.
“Yup,” said Blonde #2. “I put a big X on the bottom of the boat.”
“You dummy!” said Blonde #1. “What if we don’t get the same boat?”
Barking Dogs
A wife and her blonde husband were trying to sleep, but the next door neighbor’s dog was barking. This had been going on for months. Every night, the dog barked for hours, robbing them of sleep.
Finally, the blonde says, “I’ve had enough. I’m going to do something about this.” So he gets up, puts on his robe and goes down stairs and out the back door. A little while later, he comes back.
“What did you do? The dog’s still barking,” asks the wife.
“I put the dog in our back yard. Let’s see how they like it.”
Yes,Dumb Tennessee Laws
You can’t shoot any game other than whales from a moving automobile.
Hollow logs may not be sold.
More than 8 women may not live in the same house because that would constitute a brothel.
It is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish.
“Crimes against nature” are prohibited.
Ministers are to be dedicated to God and therefore are not eligible to hold a seat in either House of the Legislature.
Any person who participates in a duel may not hold any public office in the state.
Giving and receiving oral sex is still prohibited by law.
Stealing a horse is punishible by hanging.
No Christian parent may require their children to pick up trash from the highway on Easter day.
Driving is not to be done while asleep.
It is legal to gather and consume roadkill.
The definition of “dumb animal” includes every living creature.
Interracial marriages are illegal.
Tattooing a minor is a misdemeanor.
It is illegal to dare a child to purchase a beer.
It is illegal to place tacks on a highwy.
Skunks may not be carried into the state.
