Archive

Aug 28

Dumb Blonde Males-Jokes

By adminNo Comments

blondemusclemanFishing Buddies
Two blonde fishing buddies rented a boat early one Saturday morning and headed out for a day on the lake. They both caught their limit and headed home to fried fish dinners. The next Saturday they decided to go fishing again.

“Did you mark the spot?” asked Blonde #1.

“Yup,” said Blonde #2. “I put a big X on the bottom of the boat.”

“You dummy!” said Blonde #1. “What if we don’t get the same boat?”

Barking Dogs
A wife and her blonde husband were trying to sleep, but the next door neighbor’s dog was barking. This had been going on for months. Every night, the dog barked for hours, robbing them of sleep.

Finally, the blonde says, “I’ve had enough. I’m going to do something about this.” So he gets up, puts on his robe and goes down stairs and out the back door. A little while later, he comes back.

“What did you do? The dog’s still barking,” asks the wife.

“I put the dog in our back yard. Let’s see how they like it.”

Aug 22

Short Blonde Jokes,Like Their Attention Span!

By adminNo Comments

Bailey-Legally-blonde
Did you hear about the blonde who plugged her power strip back into itself to save electricity?
——————————————————————————–
Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?
Because she was trying to make up her mind.
——————————————————————————–

When a blonde working at the local Taco Bell was asked to put minimal lettuce on an order she replied, “I’m sorry, we only have iceberg.”
——————————————————————————-

What do you get when you put seven blondes in a freezer?
Frosted Flakes

——————————————————————————–

A blonde was driving down the highway when she read a sign saying, “Clean Restrooms Next 10 Miles.” She was really late for her appointment since there were 26 restrooms to clean.

——————————————————————————–

While waiting at a cross walk for the light to change, a blonde asked why the signal was buzzing. When she was told that it was to let blind people know when the light was red, she replied, “What in the world are blind people doing driving?”

——————————————————————————–

Did you hear about the blonde who called the county to have the Deer Crossing sign removed from her road? It seems that too many deer were being hit by cars.

——————————————————————————–

How do you know a blond has been in your office?

There is white-out on your computer screen.

——————————————————————————–

Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms?

They think their picture is being taken.

——————————————————————————–

Why shouldn’t blondes have coffee breaks?

It takes too long to re-train them.

——————————————————————————–

What do you call an eternity?

Four blondes at a four way stop.

——————————————————————————–

What do smart blondes and UFOs have in common?

You always hear about them but you never see them.

——————————————————————————–

Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one?

You have to hollow out the head.

——————————————————————————–

What did the blonde say when she opened the box of Cheerios?

“Oh, look, Daddy … doughnut seeds.”

——————————————————————————–

How do you get a twinkle in a blonde’s eye?

Shine a flashlight in her ear

Aug 21

To Be Fair, Blondes Are Not the Only Ones To Lock Their Keys In the Car

By adminNo Comments

blondebrainsTwo blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn’t. The blond with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously, “Hurry up! It’s starting to rain and the top is down.”

Aug 18

This Proves Blondes Are Smart

By adminNo Comments

newyorkmajesty1This Proves Blondes Really Are Smart

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap. Politely she declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.

He explains, “I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa.”

Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, “Okay, if you don’t know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $500.00.” This catches the blonde’s attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. “What’s the distance from the earth to the moon?” The blonde doesn’t say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer.

“Okay,” says the lawyer,” your turn.” She asks the lawyer, “What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?” The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. No answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress. No answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500.00.

The blonde says, “Thank you,” puts her head on the pillow and goes back to sleep.

The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, “Well, what’s the answer?” Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.

Jun 24

Dumb Blonde Jokes

By adminNo Comments

dumbblondehot
Q. Did you hear about the new blonde paint?

A. It’s not real bright, but its cheap, and spreads easy.

 

Q. What did the blonde’s left leg say to her right leg?

A. Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.

 

Q. What do you call a blond with a brain?

A. A golden retriever.

May 15

3 Blonde Jokes

By adminNo Comments

blondehot
Which is Further Away?
Two blondes were sitting on a bench on the Atlantic City boardwalk admiring a beautiful, bright full moon. One said to the other, “I wonder which is further away, Florida or the moon?”
“Duh…” said the other, “Can you see Florida from here?”

Mail Check
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his pretty blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house.
A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox, again opened it, and again slammed it shut. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it shut harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?” To which she replied, “There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying, ‘YOU’VE GOT MAIL’.”

17 Days
Two young blonde women are sitting at a table in a coffe shoppe in such an obviously celebratory mood that a man drifts over intending to offer to buy them something to drink. When he gets close he hears one say to the other “Here’s to 17 days!” Smiling, the man says, “Congratulations! What’s so special about 17 days?”
Eyes twinkling, one of the women explains, “Well, we’ve been spending our evenings working on a jigsaw puzzle! And it said 3-5 years on the box, but we finished it in only 17 days!”

< OlderNewer >
Blue Taste Theme created by Jabox