Jessica Simpson – “Is this chicken what I have, or is this fish? I know it’s tuna but it says Chicken, by the Sea”

Tara Reid – “I make Jessica Simpson look like a rock scientist” Paris – “What’s Walmart, do they sell like wall stuff?”

Kimberly Stewart – (on Jennifer Aniston) “I like her cuz she’s like, homely. She must have something else going on cuz it’s not like she’s gorgeous or anything.”

Alicia Silverstone – “I think that the film “Clueless” was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it’s true lightness.”

George Bush – “Too many obgyn’s aren’t able to practice their love with women across this country.”

Arnold Schwarzanegger – “I think that gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman.”

Bill Clinton – “If I were a single man, I might ask that mummy out. That’s a good-looking mommy.”

Britney Spears – “I get to go overseas places, like Canada”

Christina Aguilera – “So, where’s the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?”

Dan Quayle – “I love California. I grew up in Phoenix.”

Joaquin Phoenix – “Do I have a large frog in my hair? I have the sensation that something is eating my brain”

David Hasselfhoff – “I find it a bid sad that there is no photo of me at the museum at Checkpoint Charlie.”

R.Kelly – “All of a sudden you’re like the Bin Laden of America. Osama Bin Laden is the only one who knows what I’m going through.”

Brooke Shields – “Smoking kills, and if you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.”