Prayer of Thanksgiving

O God, we thank you for this earth, our home;
we thank you for the vast and beautiful sky and the blessed sun,
we thank you for the salted seas and the running pure waters,
we thank you the everlasting hills and mountains,
we thank you for the never-resting winds,
we thank you for the trees and the simple grass under our feet.
We thank you for our senses
that let us hear the songs of the birds,
that give us sight to see the splendor of the summer fields,
that let us taste the autumn fruits,
that let us rejoice in the feel of the first fallen snow,
And smell the breath of the newborn spring.
Dear God grant us a heart wide open to all this beauty;
And save our souls from being so blind by the problems of this day,
That we may pass not seeing the beauty of your creations,
nor feeling the love of our families and friends,
That even in the storms of life,
We still find ourselves inflamed with Love for you.
O God our creator,
Bless all here today,
Grant that they find peace and love in their homes and hearts,
And thank you Lord for providing us with this Thanksgiving dinner
And grant us peace now and always
Through your Son Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
May the Lord bless us,
Protect us,
And bring us to everlasting life.
Amen

1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write “for sensual massage.”

3. Specify that your drive-through order is “to go.”

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of “Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip…”

5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <

7. Speak only in a “robot” voice.

8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will “swipe your grub”.

10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.

11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

12. Sniffle incessantly.

13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

14. Name your dog “Dog.” 15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions “to keep them tuned up.”

16. Reply to everything someone says with “that’s what YOU think.”

17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your “astronaut training.”

18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for “violating your airspace”.

19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a “real hoot.”

20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.

21. Practice making fax and modem noises.

22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and “cc:” them to your boss.

23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a “spider person.”

26. Finish all your sentences with the words “in accordance with the prophesy.”

27. Wear a special hip holster for your
remote control.

28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you’ll be saying more any moment.

29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

30. Disassemble your pen and “accidentally” flip the ink cartridge across the room.

31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.

32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you “like it that way.”

34. Drum on every available surface.

35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.

37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.

38. Sew anti-theft detector strips
into peoples backpacks.

39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

41. Set alarms for random times.

42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.

43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.

44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a “croaking” noise.

45. Honk and wave to strangers.

46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.

47. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

48. Tape pieces of “Sweating to the Oldies” over climactic parts of rental movies.

49. Wear your pants backwards.

50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

51. Begin all your sentences with “ooh la la!”

52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

53. only type in lowercase.

54. dont use any punctuation either

55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

56. Pay for your dinner with pennies.

57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

59. Write “X – BURIED TREASURE” in random spots on all of someone’s roadmaps.

60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.

61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: “Do you hear that?” “What?” “Never mind, its gone now.”

62. Light road flares on a birthday cake.

63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.

65. Demand that everyone address you as “Conquistador.”

66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

67. When Christmas caroling, sing “Jingle Bells, Batman smells” until physically restrained.

68. Wear a cape that says “Magnificent One.”

69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

70. Stand over someone’s shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

71. Pretend your computer’s mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.

72. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce “no, wait, I messed it up,” and repeat.

73. Drive half a block.

74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

75. Ask people what gender they are.

76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.

77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.

78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don’t want to fall off “in case the big one comes”.

79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as “Feliz Navidad”, the Archies “Sugar” or the Mr. Rogers theme song.

80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.

81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

82. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.

83. Change your name to “AaJohn Aaaaasmith” for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it’s a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each “a.”

84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

85. Chew on pens that you’ve borrowed.

86. Wear a LOT of cologne.

87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your “superior mental processing.”

88. Sing along at the opera.

89. Mow your lawn with scissors.

90. At a golf tournament, chant “swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!”

91. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your “imaginary friend.”

92. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn’t rhyme.

93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something
about “psychological profiles.”

94. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a “magic picture.”

95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

96. Never make eye contact.

97. Never break eye contact.

98. Construct elaborate “crop circles” in your front lawn.

99. Construct your own pretend “tricorder,” and “scan” people with it, announcing the results.

100. Make appointments for the 31st of September.

101. Invite lots of people to other people’s parties.

Welcome to WordPress. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start blogging!

WHO FIGURED THIS OUT?

INCREDIBLE
1) Fold a NEW $20 bill in half…

2) Fold again, taking care to fold it exactly as below

3) Fold the other end, exactly as before

4) Now, simply turn it over…

What a coincidence! A simple geometric fold creates a catastrophic premonition printed on all $20 bills!!!

COINCIDENCE?

YOU DECIDE

As if that wasn’t enough…
Here is what you’ve seen…

Firstly The Pentagon on fire…

Then The Twin Towers.

…And now .. look at this!

TRIPLE COINCIDENCE ON A SIMPLE $20 BILL
Disaster (Pentagon)
Disaster ( Twin Towers )
Disaster (Osama)???

It gets even better 9 + 11 = $20!

Creepy huh? Send this to as many people as you can, cause:
Hey, this is one history lesson most people probably will
not mind reading!

There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can’t take them off you.

Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.

That’s a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would put U and I together.

If you were a new hamburger at McDonald’s, you would be McGorgeous.

Are you a parking ticket? ’cause you got fine-fine-fine written all over ya.

Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet.

If I said you had a great body, would you hold it against me?

Girl, you must be tired ’cause you’ve been running through my mind all day!

Are you a surgeon? Cause you’ve just took my heart away!

Excuse me, but I think I dropped something … My Jaw !!!

I’m not wearing any pants.

You have been very naughty! Go to my room!

Mind if i stand here until it’s safe where i farted

Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under

If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d have five cents.

When God made you, he was showing off

It’s not my fault I fell in love, you’re the one who tripped me!

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